The Bleeding-heart Syndrome

If you find yourself signing petitions; tweeting scathing, and expletive-laden tweets; joining call-to-action Facebook groups; posting selfies on Instagram with placards that read, “I am XYZ, and I am ashamed “; you could be full of Bleeding-heart Syndrome, or BS for short.

Overview

Although Bleeding-heart Syndrome has been around for ages, it has gone viral in the age of information. An event happening at a place your ancestors never heard of nor have you any personal connection with becomes the centre of your consciousness when you suffer from, or are full of, BS. It is yet early days in the research into BS, but it has been observed that certain universities, which shall not be named, are super-spreaders of BS. There is also a strong correlation between a person’s major at a university and their likelihood of contracting BS, see [1].

Symptoms

Physical symptoms

Those suffering from BS are likely to display some physical (psychosomatic to be more precise) symptoms. Common complaints include the following:

• an allergy to non-organic food,
• intolerance for dairy,
• and “just not feeling right” after accidentally consuming gluten.

A common indicator of BS sufferers is their proclivity for soy-latte, organic fair trade certified quinoa, and kale. One observes that a number of sufferers develop coloured hairs, ranging from blue to green to fifty shades of pink.

Psychological symptoms

There are several psychological indicators for being full of BS. The most common, and dangerous, are the following:

• Taking offence on behalf of others.
• Getting triggered, and subsequently doing those things that are mentioned in the first paragraph.
• Being paranoid about (or being paranoid on behalf of someone else for) being oppressed by some race, caste, lingo, or some such.

It is observed that when those full of BS come together, the sum of their BS is orders of magnitude higher than the sum of their individual BSs.

Treatment

There is, unfortunately, no known treatment for those full of BS.

Living with a person full of Bleeding-heart Syndrome

The worst thing you can do if you live with a person full of BS is to oppose their expressions or actions – you will get cancelled. Do not, however, encourage them. The best you can do is pray that you do not trigger them. To be safe, you should constantly check your privilege, be mindful of your biases, and apologise regularly. No matter how careful you are though, those suffering from BS are likely to pick out the most innocent and innocuous part of your speech (present, past, or even future) and shame you publicly on social media. You are advised to consult a counsellor if you think you will be cancelled. The counselling is for you of course, and not for the BS-afflicted person, to help you put up with BS – BS is incurable.

[1] Grievance studies affair – Wikipedia

Picture courtesy https://9gag.com/gag/a6EeXXq